Michelle Obama booty — how big?

We had to laugh when the Contra Costa Times jumped on the Michelle Obama work out bandwagon by hyping her sexy, well-toned arms. We hate to break it to the sycophants at the Times, but focusing on Michelle’s arms completely ignores the elephant in the room; and that’s her butt.

Big Bertha. This is what Bill Cosby meant by “One of the Butt Sisters.” We’re talking State of Maine. How do you get that thing in the helicopter? I mean really, peeps, it’s time for some serious “big back” throw down:

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big they had to order an entirely new Air Force One with super-sized seats

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big her workout DVD is the size of an Extra Large Pizza

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big the DNC considered switching logos with the GOP

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big she rocks the entire free world every time she sits down

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big that when she flies on Air Force one it shows up as a separate blip on the radar

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big a beeper goes off every time she backs up

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big when she wears an orange dress with white belt and pearls people mistake her for a Public Storage facility

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big Congress plans to grant her two Senators and a Congressional seat

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big that CERN in Switzerland asked her to substitute this Fall in case they can’t generate a Black Hole with the Large Hadron Collider

michelles-got-back

Comments

  1. Katy says

    Michelle Obama booty — how big? How big indeed!

    “Mount Crushmore”

    Nope…that was no foghorn!

    Requires Google Earth to visualize

    Can’t fit into a Volt.

    Butt so ……. did you see those magnificent toned arms?

    Butt so big she’s taller when sitting

    Measured in units of “cheek velocity”

    Theme song: “Hail To The Brief”

  2. says

    m.o. is bow legged with chicken calves. It’s amazing how those skinny legs can support such an massive [edifice]! A structural engineer [would be fired] if [s/he] came up with a such a design. It defies physics and natural law. [edited]

    • Katy says

      Butt so big that she could provide the country much needed shade during this massive heat wave.

    • Katy says

      Wow! Just saw a pic. I just realized that Her Buttedness might be overshadowed by Her Thighness, Hillary Rotten Clinton. The 2 probably could not fly together, not due to security but rather due to physics.

    • Katy says

      “Wow! Just saw a pic. I just realized that Her Buttedness might be overshadowed by Her Thighness, Hillary Rotten Clinton. The 2 probably could not fly together, not due to security but rather due to physics.”

      Maybe I’m wrong. A wide-body aircraft might be able to do it. They could use the center seats, the row of 4 or 5 across. But they must not sit near one another.

  3. catherine says

    Not nice! This author is missing the fact that the size of our butts is mostly genetic. I have a small butt no matter. How much I eat or work out. Mrs obama has a big butt but she’s probably born that way…and it looks good on her!

    • Jay says

      The placement of excess weight is genetic. The fact that there is excess weight is not genetic. Lose the weight, lose the butt. She is like so many other Washington politicos…….their word is not consistent with their actions. Remember folks, the rules made in Washington are only for us little people, not the wise sages of Washington.

  4. TOKYO says

    Truly, i don’t understand this article and all the stupid comments.. unless Americans are ignorant then I can understand it. Because your economy is so bad… you guys are in Afghanistan losing your own children, you are losing your homes, the dollar is losing its values and you are talking about rubbish. In JAPAN we just call it: OROKANA… Americans are childlish and OROKANA
    OROKANA= Stupid in Japanese

  5. EDGAR RIBBACK says

    And she is telling us and our children what to eat for breakfast.

    Quit eating lobster tails and Kobe steaks.

  6. pegisan says

    Her butt is so big, that when she turns around, high tide arrives an half hour earlier.

    Hahaha

  7. Osbrp says

    Her butt is so big that everytime she turns around in front of a classroom she erases the chalkboard.

    ~ EDITOR SAYS — Thanks for helping to make this gag post the largest compendium of Michelle Obama butt comparison jokes available on the web! Keep ‘em coming.

  8. JC says

    Her butt is so big she has to iron her drawers on the driveway

    ~ EDITOR SAYS QUEUE DRUM RIFF — Ba-dum-bum

  9. timothy thomas says

    this lady is so beautiful and fine I wish I could spend one romatic evening with her , but the president Obama may have my head

    ~ EDITOR REMINDS — Don’t forget Exodus 20:17

    • WL says

      These people are merely pointing out the hypocrisy in this woman’s actions. She heads up a healthy eating/exercise initiative and tries to mandate what private eateries can or cannot sell in their establishments while at the same time, obviously, eating whatever she desires.
      This is very much like her visiting military hospitals and claiming to have such respect for our service personnel and their families. Someone should tell her that these brave soldiers have been sacrificing for this nation a good more than 200 years now, and they were proud of their country long before her husband ran for POTUS.

  10. SalthePlumber says

    You’re comparing yourself to Al Franken????? Wow! This is your self-gratification website! See ya!

    ~ EDITOR PLEA — Don’t let the door hit you on way out. By your own admission, you are done here. Best mosey on back to the cowpoke blog and pleasure yourself there.

  11. says

    Big butts! This is distracting. Political comment outlets like this one and people like those who care to honestly participate have such power if only they’d focus. Leadership is needed.

    A good example is the dollars wielded by the Tea Party movement. Take a gander on the forced political end of Bart Stupak. The TP played a major part.

    So here we speak of big butts. Seems kind of petty.

    ~ EDITOR SHAKES HEAD — Lighten up, folks. It was an APRIL FOOL post from 2009! Would you be as critical of Al Franken for “comical” comments about Barbara Bush? Hard to achieve for him I know, he never was that funny.

  12. SalthePlumber says

    Fun facts and figures from your GOP calculator. Do you dare identify yourself? Or are you ashamed to run a Right-Wing-Nut website?

    ~ EDITOR REPLIES — In your rush to bigoted slander did you even bother to read the ABOUT section? We welcome all viewpoints here, maybe even yours if you actually have any beyond Junior High ad hominem retorts.

    • says

      Fun facts and figures from your GOP calculator. Do you dare identify yourself? Or are you ashamed to run a Right-Wing-Nut website?

      ~ EDITOR REPLIES — In your rush to slander did you bother to read the About? You will find many views expressed here, maybe even your own if you have any beyond bigotry.

  13. SalthePlumber says

    Jeez, I was fooled!? I’ll stick with my original observation that this blog is a waste of web space. It is obviously a Right-Wing-Nut sandbox, full of Palin and Michelle Malkin, a hateful shrew second only to Ann (the man) Coulter. April fools joke about Michelle obama’s butt. You must be a teenage pot smoker…

    ~ EDITOR ADDS FACTS — Out of 2,383 posts here since 2004, Sarah Palin and Michelle Malkin have been mentioned here—not always favorably—a grand total of three times each, or .0025 percent, so thanks for the solid research and not letting facts get in the way of your ideological blinders.

  14. SalthePlumber says

    This blog is a waste of web space. Someone is obviously enraptured with the First lady’s butt. Why dont you offer to KISS that big butt? Or maybe just keep these intimate thoughts to yourself, when you practice your bizarre selfgratification…

    ~ EDITOR NOTES — This post was an April Fool from 2009! That people like you keep finding it and commenting on it over a year later is a testament to your own creduliity, the authority of this site, and to my Search Engine Optimization abilities that all my clients enjoy. Thank you for the kind words.

  15. Diana says

    When did it suddenly become okay to sport a fat ass around? It’s not just Michelle (although who can take her concern for childhood obesity seriously as long as she’s gonna hang onto that butt!). It’s all black women! I never see a nice tight little demure ass on a black woman (saggy pendulous National Geographic breasts and fat asses). She doesn’t exactly dress to minimize it either. Is it possible she hasn’t noticed it back there?

  16. Tightie says

    She is flat chested too…and no wonder why we are not recovering, she is eating everything she can get her hands on, at the tax payers expense. Michelle: Instead of eating tons of KFC “Fried” Chicken, try the Roasted Chicken.

  17. Marisha says

    Everything Michelle Obama wears is fabulous!!! She has an amazing figure… Please keep your negative comments to yourselves! Michelle Obama, YOU GO GIRL!

  18. 2tired2breathe says

    I see no need to be insulting, derogatory, denigrating, or worshipful either. Every woman and every man who cares how they appear to others needs to learn how to best present themselves. She would benefit by some wise guidance as to how to emphasize her finer features and downplay the detracting factors.

  19. leiliy says

    Michelle looks beautiful. whats wrong with her shape? its ok. she smart, and lovely. that makes up for her big butt.

  20. Trudy Taylor says

    Michelle”does this dress make my butt look big??” Obama’s actual problem is her strident insistence that her working wardrobe be assembled by “American designers”. Unfortunately she has a penchant for undiscovered American designers,(read: bad American designers”). Which explains why her inaugural ball gown made her look like she’d just lost a wet Kleenex fight, and her swearing-in ceremony outfit was last seen ,sans the “bling”, on Sandy Dennis in the Out Of Towners (what is with the coat dress ensembles anyway?)

    She should stick to a “look”, like Hillary does. Solid colors and ANYTHING that emphasizes her neck and upper arms , any bright SOLID color, works for her. Surprisingly, her mysteriously squelched penchant for dressing like Jackie O really worked for her ; a sheath (without the matching coat-please). a flip hairdo and dare we press it? A pillbox hat.

    Discontinue the bolero jackets.

    One last piece of unsolicited advise is drop the J. Crew look. It’s for 20-somethings with no butts. It don’t fly, girlfriend.

  21. Braveheart says

    There is nothing on “God’s green earth,uglier than a person without a butt. It looks inhuman and distguisting too say the least. Michell Obama’s butt is a great assess to her because it makes her look sexy and well dressed. Carla Bruini was no match in comparsion in looks and clothes. They weren’t equal and Carla knew it. There is a lot to be said in pictures. A pretty butt is an assess,not a hinderance in African-American culture. If you’re not a member of the African-American culture who cares what one outside the culture thinks or says. I bet all the tea in China,the people trying to put Michele’s beautiful butt down,DON’T HAVE ONE.

  22. ashgirl says

    Michelle Obama is smarter & classier than any of the posters above. Yes, you’ve managed to find a picture of her in an outfit that does not quite flatter her, but everyone has one of those… she’s human. The majority of the time Michelle is well-dressed, well-spoken, and she is in NO way shape, or form, an embarrassment to the U.S. So please, think before you speakk…

    And another thing – Yes, Michelle Obama does have a semi-large rear end. Which is seen as beautiful in not only the African American culture, but in many others as well. I’m an African American woman, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been complimented on my “assets” by men of different races. Hopefully racism isn’t what is motivating these posts, because they’re way off base….

    • says

      Rascism? Lady, it was an April Fool’s joke. Lighten up.

      You are right though, it would be racist if one claimed the Sister should, as an African American, have special treatment and not be an object of political satire like every other First Lady in the past 60 years.

  23. Obamanation says

    She doesn’t cook, but it looks like she’s been doing some eating lately. Makes Oprah look petite – no wonder she likes her. By the way, MO’s butt’s so big she has to take off her pants to get in her pockets! And one last one – MO’s butt’s so big they have to use a spy satellite for her colonoscopy!

  24. janine says

    She pushes the limits because she can. Our tax dollars at work? Sarah Palin was called a slutty flight attendant? Michelle Obama looks like a homeless hippie! She’s embarrassing.

  25. Informed Voter says

    It looks like she has on a cooking apron circa the 1950’s. But we all know she doesn’t cook. Yikes, I look better in my cleaning outfit on house cleaning day…

  26. Fashion Queen says

    Michele Obama’s butt’s so big she has to commit fashion crime just to cover it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    She looks like a flowered cow left over from the flower-child period.

    The woman should get a mirror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    michelle obama's butt's so big

    • Katy says

      Butt so big that when she goes for a dip, fellow beachgoers need to move inland.