Michelle Obama booty — how big?

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We had to laugh when the Contra Costa Times jumped on the Michelle Obama work out bandwagon by hyping her sexy, well-toned arms. We hate to break it to the sycophants at the Times, but focusing on Michelle’s arms completely ignores the elephant in the room; and that’s her butt.

Big Bertha. This is what Bill Cosby meant by “One of the Butt Sisters.” We’re talking State of Maine. How do you get that thing in the helicopter? I mean really, peeps, it’s time for some serious “big back” throw down:

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big they had to order an entirely new Air Force One with super-sized seats

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big her workout DVD is the size of an Extra Large Pizza

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big the DNC considered switching logos with the GOP

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big she rocks the entire free world every time she sits down

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big that when she flies on Air Force one it shows up as a separate blip on the radar

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big a beeper goes off every time she backs up

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big when she wears an orange dress with white belt and pearls people mistake her for a Public Storage facility

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big Congress plans to grant her two Senators and a Congressional seat

– Michelle Obama’s butt’s so big that CERN in Switzerland asked her to substitute this Fall in case they can’t generate a Black Hole with the Large Hadron Collider

michelles-got-back


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Comments

  1. Katy says

    Michelle Obama booty — how big? How big indeed!

    “Mount Crushmore”

    Nope…that was no foghorn!

    Requires Google Earth to visualize

    Can’t fit into a Volt.

    Butt so ……. did you see those magnificent toned arms?

    Butt so big she’s taller when sitting

    Measured in units of “cheek velocity”

    Theme song: “Hail To The Brief”

  2. says

    m.o. is bow legged with chicken calves. It’s amazing how those skinny legs can support such an massive [edifice]! A structural engineer [would be fired] if [s/he] came up with a such a design. It defies physics and natural law. [edited]

    • Katy says

      Butt so big that she could provide the country much needed shade during this massive heat wave.

    • Katy says

      Wow! Just saw a pic. I just realized that Her Buttedness might be overshadowed by Her Thighness, Hillary Rotten Clinton. The 2 probably could not fly together, not due to security but rather due to physics.

    • Katy says

      “Wow! Just saw a pic. I just realized that Her Buttedness might be overshadowed by Her Thighness, Hillary Rotten Clinton. The 2 probably could not fly together, not due to security but rather due to physics.”

      Maybe I’m wrong. A wide-body aircraft might be able to do it. They could use the center seats, the row of 4 or 5 across. But they must not sit near one another.

  3. catherine says

    Not nice! This author is missing the fact that the size of our butts is mostly genetic. I have a small butt no matter. How much I eat or work out. Mrs obama has a big butt but she’s probably born that way…and it looks good on her!

    • Jay says

      The placement of excess weight is genetic. The fact that there is excess weight is not genetic. Lose the weight, lose the butt. She is like so many other Washington politicos…….their word is not consistent with their actions. Remember folks, the rules made in Washington are only for us little people, not the wise sages of Washington.

  4. TOKYO says

    Truly, i don’t understand this article and all the stupid comments.. unless Americans are ignorant then I can understand it. Because your economy is so bad… you guys are in Afghanistan losing your own children, you are losing your homes, the dollar is losing its values and you are talking about rubbish. In JAPAN we just call it: OROKANA… Americans are childlish and OROKANA
    OROKANA= Stupid in Japanese

  5. EDGAR RIBBACK says

    And she is telling us and our children what to eat for breakfast.

    Quit eating lobster tails and Kobe steaks.

  6. pegisan says

    Her butt is so big, that when she turns around, high tide arrives an half hour earlier.

    Hahaha

  7. Osbrp says

    Her butt is so big that everytime she turns around in front of a classroom she erases the chalkboard.

    ~ EDITOR SAYS — Thanks for helping to make this gag post the largest compendium of Michelle Obama butt comparison jokes available on the web! Keep ‘em coming.

  8. JC says

    Her butt is so big she has to iron her drawers on the driveway

    ~ EDITOR SAYS QUEUE DRUM RIFF — Ba-dum-bum

  9. timothy thomas says

    this lady is so beautiful and fine I wish I could spend one romatic evening with her , but the president Obama may have my head

    ~ EDITOR REMINDS — Don’t forget Exodus 20:17