Body of Osama bin Laden found on San Francisco Beach

bin-laden-beachThe bloated body of Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the murders of over 3,000 Americans on the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C., apparently has washed ashore of the San Francisco Bay, not far from Pier 39 at apx. 11 P.M. on Monday night, March 31.

Within an hour, the Federal Bureau of Investigation positively identified the body via dental records.

The body of Osama bin Laden appeared to be partially eaten by sharks. The body was found on the beach of the adjacent to the Dolphin Swim and Rowing Club. San Fracisco Supervisors are considering renaming that bit of cove as Bin Laden Beach.

On May 1, 2011, President Barack Obama announced that a team of Navy Seals had entered Obama’s compound in Abbotibad in Pakistan, shooting and killing the terrorist leader. Later, the president reported that bin Laden’s body was dumped into the Mediterranean Sea. The president did not disclose the exact location.

FBI officials are not sure how the body reached San Francisco Bay.

There is speculation that a group of terrorists found the body near the island of Crete and hauled it by boat to San Francisco.

But Climate alarmists speculate that out-of-control Global Warming, which they also say caused Malaysian Airline MH370 to go off course, has so impacted ocean currents it is, “No Suprise the corpse washed up where it did,” said Michael Mann, author of the now mocked hockey stick graph that cherry-picked data in order to convince governments of impending doom from rising sea levels that would have engulfed Seal Beach by now.

Since neither Homeland Security or the FBI laid claim to bin Laden’s remains, one enterprising San Francisco restauranteur claimed salvage rights and has offered to sell the remains as shark bait or as treats for tourists to throw to the seals that frequent the waters by Fishermans’ Wharf.

Until that happens, the body of Osama bin Laden can be viewed at a street booth near Pier 39. The cost per viewing is $9.11

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  1. Bruce R. Peterson, Lafayette says

    This was one of the funniest April 1st stories this year. It’s good to have some humor in the news. Most lamestream news is about death and taxes.Comics are always more fun.